If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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