it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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