we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
