Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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