If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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