I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
God, I missed his penis.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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