why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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