The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
