All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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