i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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