When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
