Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
