I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
