Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
