Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
