Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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