I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
