Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got inside last night via doggy door
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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