At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
