How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
how do flat chested girls get laid?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
