He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The Olympian is in my bed
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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