The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
