i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
