It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
