I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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