My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
