do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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