He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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