i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
