Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Found your dick twin last night
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
