I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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