Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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