pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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