Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
