4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
