Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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