She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
