Whod you bang
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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