Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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