I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
