Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
