I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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