Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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