dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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