she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
