He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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