Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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