Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
