She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
