Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
That's how pantless uber rides happen
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
