Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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