My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
