she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
