i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
